


CATastrophe Strikes

by Townycod13



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, kyle swearing in polish, ruddy somali cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-04-25 01:22:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14367870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Townycod13/pseuds/Townycod13
Summary: What a cataclysmic turn of events. How could our protagonists possibly succeed in the face of such clawesome circumstances? They may try to pawlease whatever angry god has cursed them but ultimately no amount of fur-ther purrsuasion could salvage this situation. One could be pawsitive that things were going to go south from the very start. Prepare for a tail of great pawsibility.That's just a feline I get.





	CATastrophe Strikes

**Author's Note:**

> Kyle swears in polish a lot. That's just a thing that is in this fic. Accept it. Love it. Become absorbed by it and join me. Why polish? because I hc him as having polish heritage. Why cussing? Because I can, that's why. Don't be a pussy, help meowt and join in the mew world order. owo

The pain echoed through his body in shockwaves and he tried desperately to force it out of his consciousness. It was unfortunate that such a thing is entirely impossible and earth-shatteringly indescribable.

Organs gnashed against one another and a scream voicelessly consumed a yowl that became agony induced pants of agony. His entire body curled in on itself while the shockwaves of the world shattered around him.

Was it the world shattering or just his soul? Ripped apart piece by piece and salted for measure. His heartbeat throbbed in ears that were his own--weren't they?-- and it was not a relief to be reminded that his life was still maintained despite it all.

What an excruciating caress of the abyss. Could he hear? Could he feel? Could he see? Was his body still here or mere slabs of flesh scattered across the fields like so many weeds that grow from the earth and--

As suddenly as the pain had begun, it ended. The aftershock was still holding his breath hostage and demanding no ransom, only time.

He struggled for his last memory. His last meaningful thought before the pain. His own name. _Anything_. It was blurry at first, a distant dream that seemed like it might escape if he thought too hard but he snatched it with an outstretched fis--

Paw.

He examined the strange appendage for longer than anyone really ought to. Eyes zeroed in complete focus and allowing all other thoughts to scatter completely.

There was a paw where his hand ought to be and that just couldn't be right. Yeah, he was definitely struggling with the name department at the moment but he was still over 100% positive that he was not supposed to have a paw.

He flexed the appendage thoughtlessly. Carefully manicured claws extended themselves and gleamed in the sunlight of dawn.

Okay. He had a paw now. A kitty paw. That was... less than ideal, but he could work with this, right? So long as the rest of his body was still person-like, he could _definitely_ deal with this.

He tried to gather himself to his feet, momentarily forgetting that the reason for his collapsed state earlier was an unstoppable pain that still had him a bit dizzy.

So, he might have almost managed something approximating sitting up before collapsing back down in a heap.

A displeased grown like mewl escaped him and he tried not to think about that particular fact for too long.

He failed and thought about it a lot.

If he had a paw and mewled, that could mean something very disruptive to his life.

What was his life again?

The fog was lifting just enough that he recalled something to the degree of a name. He was sure it was a name and his life started to vaguely arrange itself.

A family vacation was somewhere inside that cloud of discontent and arguing with a mean old man--his father?-- before deciding to stay home. Home. Where was home?

Where was he?

How did he...

He tried and failed to stand again.

"Damn, I seriously can't watch you do that again, little dude."

Kyle blinked owlishly and celebrated momentarily, something about that voice brought back his own name into recollection.

"How'd you get yourself stuck down there anyway?"

Familiar, it was familiar. Kyle liked the voice. It wasn't muffled. A clear and crisp sound. Why was it supposed to muffled?

Gloved hands lifted him carefully and he was uncomfortably aware of strange stretches and muscles that were completely unfamiliar to him. He hadn't the energy to fight being lifted though. He also had more than an inkling as to why someone would lift him without his consent and so easily.

"It's okay, little dude. I got you. Let's get you some food and a place to rest, okay?"

Such a sweet voice. Kyle still curled in on himself with displeasure. Chances were he was about to be fed cat food or poptarts.

...why poptarts?

There was a shift in the grip and Kyle saw the person who held him so gently.

The truest of blues filled his vision and he was face to face with the uncovered freckles of Kenny McCormick.

Weren't cats supposed to be color blind? Or was that just dogs?

Kyle couldn't conceive of those details just yet. He finally let the exhaustion take his body. He could trust Kenny.

With that the last vestiges of attempted thought fled and he let the world melt away.

\--

"He's so cute! I love him. I love him with all my heart. Can we keep him, Kenny? Please? Remember that I love him while you make that decision."

That voice wasn't familiar. Kyle decided against waking up quite yet. He had a pounding headache and an terrible suspicion that his horrible dream about morphing into a motherfucking cat wasn't a dream at all.

"I don't know, he looks well looked after. He probably has an owner that's worried sick about him."

Yeah. It hadn't been a dream. A despondent mewl made it's way out of him.

"He's waking up!" Kyle opened his eyes to see a small, dirty girl close the distance between them, "Hi there little guy, I'm Karen."

Why did people introduce themselves to cats? Kyle decided it was helpful for his purposes but still, it struck him as weird. He realized he was probably also guilty of doing this at least once in his life and suddenly the uncaring apathy and contempt cats had for humans made a lot more sense.

What ding-bats people were.

Still, he was raised to have manners so he mewed out a response that was his best attempt at returning the greeting. 'Karen' giggled at his antics and it was such a sweet sound he took back a third of his earlier contempt.

"Is it alright if I pet you?"

Kurwa mać, how did Kenny even know this kid? She had such good manners. She couldn't be related to him, could she? Kyle searched his memory and somewhere the half-baked mention of a younger sibling crept it's way into his mind and Kyle wondered why he'd never bothered to meet the child before.

There was a gentle brush on his fur--oh god, he had fur-- and it turned into a stroking motion that he couldn't claim to dislike, so for the moment he let the indignity of it pass.

He should probably find out why he was a cat. He should probably explain the situation to Kenny and have him help work it out.

He should do a lot of things but instead a deep sound of content vibrated from his chest and he allowed the girl, probably Kenny's sister, to ease the sore muscles.

Kenny's deep laugh was the only thing that finally reminded him that yes, he was a human person and shouldn't be purring and getting pet like a goddamn pet. He swatted at the girls hand, claws stored away safely, as a warning to back off.

It was less threatening than intended apparently because now both McCormick's were laughing at him and he officially hated being a cat.

His demands for respectful silence regarding his crisis were met with even more giggles and he was forced to accept that these heathens did not speak cat.

"Okay," Kenny managed through giggles, "We might have to keep him. He's actually the cutest thing on this entire planet. I think I love him."

"Heartily agreed." Karen said through her own mirth.

Kyle hated how pleased he was over the compliment.

\--

"Why the fuck do you have a cat, Kinny? You're too poor to feed yourself, a cat is a terrible idea, you idiot."

Kyle didn't really think before he leapt. Something about being a cat made his frontal lobe go on vacation.

That was totally fine in his book.

"AHH! GET YOUR CRAZY CAT OFF MY FACE, KINNIEEE!!!"

\--

"...am I crazy or is your cats tail thumping s.o.s in morose code at me?"

Stan is a dingus. And he wasn't understanding even one of Kyle's angry cries for help that he was trying to send through death glare alone.

"Yeah, he does that sometimes," Kenny shrugged, "I figure it's either the worlds most hilarious coincidence or a sign of a great cat-tastrophe."

"Dude. Don't pun. It's embarrassing." Stan sounded amused nonetheless and looked away from Kyle's agitated twitches, "Your cat keeps glaring at me though. It's creepy."

Kyle was going to maybe actually kill Stan when he got back to human form. This had to be a betrayal of super-bestfriendom of some kind. Super bestfriends were supposed to just _know_ what the other was thinking, even if the other was an agitated ex-human cat that wanted to remedy his situation as soon as possible.

Deciding that today would be another bust on the 'return to humanity or at least communicate to his friends about his predicament' front, Kyle bit both of the horrible friends soundly and huffed out of the room, tail waving aggressively in his wake.

"You _really_ need to train him to stop biting people."

"I dunno, I think it's kinda cute."

Yep. Kyle hated them both.

\--

It was really interesting to hear Kenny talk.

Kyle was so used to the boy keeping to himself aside from crude one-liners, he hadn't realized the guy even had so many words inside of him.

"--the pitch can get a little bit tricky if I want to sing alto though."

He had opinions too.

Currently, Kyle was being regaled about an opera that he'd never even heard of with snippets of actual songs from it blowing him away.

He forgot that Kenny could _sing_ , like _really_ sing. Not just stay in-tune for a moment but one of those powerful voices that stole breath.

"But like I said, I think the protagonist should dump his ass. She deserves better than that skirt-chasing pile of dicks."

Kenny had interesting opinions too. From the brief synopsis Kyle had heard he wouldn't have thought about a lot of the silly aspects that Kenny kept zeroing in on and it was seriously frustrating him that he couldn't contribute to the conversation.

Not that he didn't try through a series of miming, mews, and angry tail flicks.

"No, I don't think it's ever excusable. So, here's how I view it, everyone's gotta be on the same page, right? Or it's not a real relationship. Like, if he started it up all clear about his intentions and she was chill about it and consented, that's a completely different thing. But he based the entire thing on this shitty lie and he's an asshole."

For one thing, Kenny seemed to have a _thing_ against dishonesty. Kyle wasn't a fan of it most days either but he'd always pegged Kenny as the sort to view the truth as a fluid thing.

Which, he did, to a degree. It was interesting. Kenny had very firm lines drawn in the sand about what was acceptable and what wasn't. He'd clearly thought over his own code of ethics deeply and from multiple perspectives.

It was... strange. Kyle was a little jealous. He was sure he'd put just as much thought into his own ethics but he wasn't nearly as confident or concise about it.

"Okay, but the chorus--"

Oh, there was song again. Kyle curled up to listen, setting aside complicated feelings of jealousy for another time.

\--

"Oh, it's the goddamn cat. Are you here to watch me work?"

What the hell did Stuart McCormick have against cats? Kyle strutted over to the work bench. Most days Stuart didn't do much of anything so it was eating at him not to know what the man was currently up to.

"Just stay out of my way and you won't meet an accident."

God, Kenny's dad was a dick. Kyle flicked his tail rebeliously and hopped onto the table, looking to sate his curiosity.

What he saw was uncomfortably gorgeous. Kyle spent a good moment rotating between gaping at the wood carving and the man making it.

"Pretty good, ain't it?" Stuart bragged, not dishonestly, and leaned down to find a finished creation from within the confines of the desk.

Kyle took his type admiring this one as well.

Why was Kenny's household so poor? These were fantastic, they could easily sell for--

There was a curse, a clatter, and a string of curse words that made even Kyle's colorful vocabulary look a little sparse.

The beautiful bear that had initially gripped Kyle's attention was thrown against a wall, Kyle hid under a bench as more things flew from counters.

Finally the man stormed out of the room, a beer in hand and screams at his wife echoing in the distance.

What the fuck?

\--

"Kenny, can you help me with this?"

" _Kenny_! The generator isn't working!"

"Kenny, where's my hairbrush?"

"Kenny! Hurry up and get your ass out here!"

"Kenny, what the fuck do you think you're doing sitting down, you lazy piece of shit?!"

"Kenny, why isn't that _dealt_ with already?!"

"Kenny!"

" _Kenny_!"

"KENNY!"

Who the actual fuck is Kenny McCormick?

Kyle stared, bewildered, as the boy bustled about.

He always knew that Kenny was dependable, he'd depended on that rock quite a few times in his life, but he'd never considered how much the boy was depended upon.

It was alarming.

Sometimes it felt like Kenny had to be in two places at once to do everything.

"Meow?"

Kenny looked down apologetically, "I'm sorry, little dude, I'm a little swamped right now. I am totally down for a cuddle session later though."

That wasn't what Kyle was trying to say at all. What an idiot.

Guilt gnawed his stomach at the insult, watching Kenny hand-wash his younger sisters clothing because their washing machine was out of commission _again_.

Someone had put beer bottles in it.

Kenny wasn't complaining though. Just working and _humming_ and Kyle was pretty sure he would have flipped a table and burned down the house.

"Thanks for keeping me company," there was something so soft in the smile, a little lost and lonely and Kyle wondered how many times Kenny had done this song and dance completely alone, "It's nice to have you here."

Who the fuck was Kenny McCormick? because the seemingly carefree boy that liked to giggle about boobs and Nascar just wasn't matching well with the reality of the boy in front of him.

\--

Stan stopped coming to visit, citing vicious cat assault, so Kyle had taken to glaring at the boys house from the yard.

Stan was his best bet of getting back to normal if the guy would just _pay attention_ to the clues!

Stan exited his house, saw the cat awaiting him, screamed, and retreated back inside.

Stan, Kyle decided with a yowl, is the actual worst and needed to be dealt with for his crimes.

\--

"It's okay, Karen."

Her broken sobs filled the emptiness of the room, Kyle couldn't bring himself to leave the closet he'd retreated into.

"It's _not_ okay, Kenny!"

"I know."

It looked like such a practiced scene. Kyle looked away.

The girl cried for what felt like hours and Kyle realized he would have no idea how to comfort someone for that long, how to comfort someone that hurt.

It broke his heart that Kenny did.

\--

This was becoming a pattern.

No one had noticed his disappearance due to the prevalent belief that he had traveled with his family to New Jersey and wandering the town for an answer was a perilous thing for a cat.

So he stayed home and explored the McCormick home.

There were patterns in the chaos. Kyle took note of them.

Carol McCormick was always asleep in the afternoon, drugged out past any semblance of sanity. Stuart in a similar state most days, usually camped out in front of a TV surrounded by the bottles the spelled out his addictions to the world.

Kevin was rarely home and when he was, it was always a heated argument with his parents. From what Kyle could grasp it was somewhere between a desperate plea for independence and a clumsy attempt at protecting his younger two siblings.

It never worked. In fact, it felt as though every time Kevin argued for their safety, the more pain was cascaded down on them in retribution for his hubris. Usually it was Kenny. He'd sit and take it patiently, as though his soul had long since departed his body.

Kyle had itched to intervene but before he'd even made it off the ground, Kenny had pinned him with a _look_.

Such a strange look.

A gentle headshake and bitter smile and Kyle felt his legs shrink to gelatin as Karen clutched him desperately for comfort.

Once it was Karen because Kenny wasn't there. Kyle had jumped into the fray that time and just before Stuart could smash a bottle of whiskey on his kitty skull, Karen had covered him with her whole body.

It had been the most heartbreaking moment of his life.

The girl protected him soundlessly until Stuart got bored.

She limped when she brought him back to her room.

She sobbed as she clung to him for sleep.

She wanted her angel to come. She wanted Kenny to come. She wanted Kevin to come.

She never begged for her mother or father and Kyle wished he couldn't understand that emotion so viscerally now.

There were patterns. Kevin came and with it, increased beatings.

Kenny went out everyday, even the weekends. He'd followed Kenny once or twice and watched.

It was surprising how many places would hire a fourteen year old child.

Kenny was an eager worker though and he never seemed to miss a day of work.

Kyle never once saw either of the parents leave for work.

Kenny did bills on Tuesdays. Always Tuesday. Karen had the newspaper club on Tuesday's and Kyle realized that Kenny didn't want her knowing who actually paid for the water bill.

She probably knew though. She always seemed to try to conserve on everything. Water, lights, space. She made herself so small it was heartbreaking.

Kyle started curling up at Kenny's feet while he did important things like this. Kenny would always lift him up into his lap and absentmindedly pet him and Kyle hoped it was soothing for the other boy.

It was strange. Who was Kenny McCormick?

He knew the boy that made dirty jokes at the bus stop and he knew the boy that never turned down a dare.

He didn't know the boy that clutched his head over a pile of seemingly endless paperwork, gritting his teeth when the pressure seemed like too much.

The boy that loved his siblings fiercely and stared at the stars through the gap his ceiling with a helpless state of acceptance.

Time passed differently as a cat, Kyle felt, it couldn't have been all that long. People should notice he was actually missing any day and then surely this entire debacle would be solved through a series of ridiculous shenanigans that he didn't even want to think about yet.

For now he tried to understand the boy in front of him.

Who exactly was Kenny McCormick? And how was it that after a lifetime of knowing him, Kyle only felt that he was now meeting him?

\--

"Hey, little dude."

It was seriously a wonder that Kenny had never bothered to actually name the cat he picked up. Kyle did the best cat approximate of an eye-roll he could manage and Kenny sunk next to him chuckling, fingers already reaching to scratch the sweet spot behind his ear.

"How was your day?"

Kyle gave a long and varied lecture on the stupidity of birds, Eric Cartman, and the human race at large. Kenny listened attentively to it all with a little smile and Kyle almost didn't resent the ridiculous nature of their situation.

"Mine was... well, I've had better days I think."

Kyle mewed curiously, the best he could manage.

It was unusual for Kenny to share.

"Ya know, it's not that I don't know that life's a bitch, it's just... I dunno, sometimes I guess I hope for a bit more?"

He paused for breathing, a calming attempt at a cracking voice. Lost in the sea of doubt he felt.

"I'm trying as hard as I can." he held one paw, gently but desperately, "I'm trying so fucking hard and it never fucking works out."

His words were disjointed.

"Why am I such a pathetic person?"

Sobs began breaking up his rhetorical questions, a quiet desperation curling around the words.

"Why is it so painful?"

He squeezed his eyes shut, as if to blind himself from something horrible.

"Why is it always alone? No one knows. No one notices. No one cares."

He looked so small. Curling further and further into the mattress.

"Why can't I do anything fucking right for one fucking time?"

Another sob broke the tirade up.

"Why can't the world stop hurting?"

A plea. So hopeless and deranged but demanding all the same.

"I get it. I get that I don't belong here."

It was heartbreaking.

"I'm strange and disjointed and twisted inside. Something is wrong with me. I know I should be scrubbed off this planet."

The words sounded like truth but it was a strange one.

"But it's not working so can they please stop trying?"

It was nearly impossible to understand all of his speech through the wet sounds of his crying.

"It hurts."

Kyle was going to claw out the eyes of whoever made Kenny feel like this.

"It hurts so much."

He never once noticed that the boy was translucent.

\--

"Little dude! What are you doing here?"

Kyle hopped down from the tree outside City Wok. Determined to keep constant watch over the McCormick boy. If someone was hurting Kenny, Kyle was going to find them and destroy them. It was the principle of the thing.

For now he would settle for walking Kenny home though.

"You're just full of surprises, aren't ya?"

Kyle mewed sarcastically in return.

"Well, you have a point there. I can be quite hard to read myself."

A kitty version of 'no shit' later and Kyle wished that Kenny was actually understanding him instead of humoring him.

"I don't need sass from you, my dude."

Kyle clawed at the pant leg irately, a quick show that he wasn't fucking around.

"Okay, well my crush has no idea at least."

Kyle paused in his tracks, a mewl of puzzlement disrupting the flow of Kenny's one-sided conversation.

"Oh, I didn't tell you?"

It made sense Kenny would have a crush. He was a person too. The term just sounded so innocent though. He would expect Kenny to describe a crush with more vulgarity. Or perhaps he just didn't expect Kenny to have crushes at all, just asses he'd like to pound.

He filed that away in the increasing list of things he'd previously misread about the boy.

"I wonder how he's doing..."

Kyle actually yowled this time. Since when did Kenny like boys? Which boys? Wasn't Kenny as straight as they came?

"Wow, I didn't peg you for a homophobe, little dude."

 _That's not the problem_ ! Kyle wanted to screech, _The problem is that I've spent my entire life with you and you only ever talk about boobs_!

That wasn't true. Kenny talked about other things.

Boobs were a big part of his conversations though. Bigger than they rightly ought to be.

Kenny laughed, "I can only hope that whatever you just said translates to 'no, of course not Ken! I totally love you no matter who you want to date!'"

Kyle did his kitty eye-roll and peace descended on the walk again. It was surprising to learn Kenny batted for the other team--or maybe it was both teams?-- but ultimately Kyle didn't really care that much.

"He's really awesome though."

Oh god, he was going to have to listen to Kenny describe his crush. Despite the burning curiosity he felt on the matter, he'd had enough experience with Stan describing soppy human emotions in great detail to know that he wasn't going to enjoy this.

"Like, he's probably the smartest person I know? He just takes situations and dissects them, ya know? And he never quits either. He always has an angle I hadn't thought about before and he's just so passionate about it. It's really cool."

Kurwa, this was going to be a long one. He could tell.

"I miss him," he let out an embarrassed laugh, "He's out of town right now, but to be honest he probably wouldn't be spending much time with me anyway. He spends his summer breaks with Stan mostly."

Wait.

"Did I mention he can hack? I mean, who the hell can _hack_? That's actually the coolest thing. He's got exactly zero patience for bullshit and it's amazing. I love it when he lets me in on his latest passion, it's just... I dunno, it's hard to describe, but his eyes just light up, ya know? And his face explodes with life and I don't think any picture could ever do justice to those cheeks."

Wait an actual fucking second.

"He's really cute too. No, don't get pouty, you'll always be the cutest pal I have. But he's adorable and handsome all in one? Like one second he's being a a nervous wreck or grinning all sweet and soft and shit, and then a second later Cartman says some crap or something he disagrees with happens, and he just _rises_ . It's like he gets bigger somehow, and he's full of so much _fire_. I nearly swooned this one time--"

 _Pojebało cię_?!

There was so much Kyle really needed to unpack to be able to handle this conversation.

"--see, I got swept away in a crowd and I wasn't feeling so good so I was just kinda 'fuckit, Imma just accept my death' but the dude comes back for me like a damn hero. He didn't bother with any stupidity, just took my hand and pulled me through the crowd with this determination? I swear, I swooned."

Oh, god, it was just getting harder to deny as time went.

"And I mean, I know it meant nothing to him and that's okay. But _damn_ , he could have asked for my anything and I'd have given it up. He's just..." Kenny's face turned red as he seemed to finally catch up with how embarrassing the information he'd given to the cat was, "He's just really great, ya know?"

Kyle made two snap decisions. One, Kenny could _never_ know his true identity now. Two, he was going to spend the rest of tonight trying to re-understand the entirety of reality as he knew it.

\--

"Kenny, you're cat is giving me looks again."

Kenny shrugged, continuing to raid the Marsh pantry, "Deal with it, he's the light of my life and you must learn to love him."

Stan, the eternal dimwit, still didn't understand any of Kyle's desperate pleas. He had to find a way back into his own body before summer vacation ended and people began looking into his disappearance. There was no doubt in his kitten mind that the search would eventually narrow down to the ginger cat that appeared immediately after Kyle disappeared. The one that papped his tale in morose code and hated Eric Cartman.

And Kenny could _never know_.

"I think he's trying to tell me something? I'm pretty scared that if I guess wrong though, he's gonna bite me."

First bit of wisdom for the day belongs to you, Marsh.

"Speaking of fiery redheads," Kenny turned around with an arm full of snacks, "Heard anything from Kyle yet?"

Stan sighed, shaking his head, "Nah, dudes been ignoring all my calls and texts. I figure he must have picked up his normal Jersey bad attitude though. He'll probably stop being an asshole when he gets back to town."

Kyle was going to bite Stan. Hard. It was going to bleed and the boy would need stitches and he might even get put to sleep for being a bad kitty but it will be _worth_ _it_.

With perfect timing, Kenny began scratching him the secret spot behind the ear and at least a quarter of his aggression dissipated.

Being a cat was complicated.

"Well, at least it's not just me he's ignoring." Kenny laughed mirthlessly and Stan had a strained smile.

"Are you still planning to tell him when he gets back?"

Kenny plopped a chip in his mouth, buying time before he'd have to answer, "Not like I have much of a choice, I can't tell him any sooner if he's not gonna reply."

Wait, what was it that Stan and Kenny both knew? Kyle glared at the both of them and swashed his tail in displeasure.

"He's going to be pissed." Stan warned.

Kyle felt aghast that if he understood this topic, this meant that super best friend had _known_ and kept it from him. Oh, he was going to have _words_ with the other boy when this was over.

"I know." Kenny said, "But it's not his decision to make. I've just got other shit I need to focus on."

Wait, what?

Kyle was lost all over again and swatted at the boys in hopes of scaring them into explaining the situation to him.

It unfortunately had the complete opposite effect of distracting them from the topic at hand to look at his 'adorable kitty antics'.

Being a cat sucked balls.

\--

Carol McCormick kept purposefully dropping crumbs. Kyle would be offended over the floor offering but he also knew that Stuart got pissy about her feeding the cat 'people food'.

She'd break off a little bread, here and there, before resuming eating like nothing had happened.

Despite her _many_ faults he couldn't help but find the slight kindness endearing. It just reminded him so much of Kenny.

Subtle and small kindness, never overly overt, never declaring himself proudly, just doing something caring for someone other than themselves.

It occurred to him that this really was Kenny's mother and he did take after her, to a degree.

\--

"I kinda love him, ya know?"

 _Kurwa mać_ , Kyle did _not_ want to have this particular one-sided conversation again. Kenny was busying himself with cleaning Karen's room. Kyle wanted to tell the boy to take care of his own stupid mess first but instead he just pointed at missed spots with his unfortunately adorable paws.

"I know, it's dumb, and _totally_ one-sided, but he's just..." a dreamy sigh and Kyle kinda wanted to get swallowed up by the earth rather than hear the rest of this, "Really cool?"

Kyle meowed his best rendition of _you already told me this, please don't repeat yourself, I'm actually dying of embarrassment_. It only caused Kenny to giggle.

Damn, shit, chuj, that sound was actually kinda sweet.

In vengeance for causing a fluster, Kyle knocked over some books. Never mess with a cat. Ever.

\--

"Hey, Little Dude."

Was that actually his name now? He could swear he heard proper capitalization in that sentence. Kyle would nip at Kevin in protest but he'd grown a bit fond of the boy in the time he'd been here, despite his frustration over the chaos his well-meaning intensity reaps.

He might, maybe, sympathize with it.

Being the sort of person that walks into a situation with such bullheaded intent that they cause more trouble than good.

Either that or Stockholm syndrome was more invasive than anticipated.

"Seen Kenny?"

Kyle tried to remember if he had. Odd that he hadn't, he'd stuck fairly close to the other boy for days now and he was suddenly gone.

Why couldn't he recall where Kenny had gone?

"That's okay." Kevin sighed, taking a seat on the porch next to the lounging cat. "He's probably too busy to talk anyway."

There was such defeat in the tone. Kyle pondered how he could get more information. He thwapped the older boy with his tail.

Kevin, somehow, got the message, "He's supporting the entire family, ya know? He barely goes to school anymore. I think... I think he's planning on quitting school altogether, to work full-time."

 _What_. Kyle's tail thwapped him again, this time out of involuntary agitation.

Quitting school? Without at least getting a high school degree Kenny was going to be trapped forever in the hell of multiple customer service jobs and even then his options would be limited. Kyle tried to think if he had a special skill that could be sold instead.

An entertainer? Kyle vaguely remembered something about Krazy Kenny having quite a following...

"I know." Kevin sighed, "It's... well, it's not like I can tell him to stay. I quit school. How can I tell him not to when I did it myself? It's just... it's really hard, getting by, earning enough just to keep myself fed, and so many doors closed to me."

 _You're the best person to tell him not to because you understand why it's a bad idea first hand!_ Kyle wanted to scream but instead he just yowled unpleasantly.

"And I know he's going to keep supporting Karen... and... I don't know what to tell him? I'm proud of him. He's smart, smarter than me the damn brat, but he can be so _stupid_ about some things. I know I'm not a good older brother--"

His voice caught and Kyle watched patiently as the man collected himself. It took time.

Time for them both to look at the empty sky and wonder.

"I _want_ to be better. I want to make better decisions. I want to stop fucking up."

The unspoken _but_ hung in the air and Kevin lapsed into another lasting silence, half-heartedly stroking Kyle.

Goddamn, McCormicks. Kyle mentally cussed the entire family. They were going to be the death of him.

From Karen's contagious sweetness, to Carol's small acts of kindness when she was sober and Stuart's ability to create when he actually made the effort, Kevin's sympathetic nature, and _Kenny_...

Goddamnit.

It had to Stockholm syndrome. He was officially invested in this situation.

"You're a really good cat."

 _And you're all terrible for making me care about you_.

\--

A week left of summer and he was still no closer to solving his own situation. His own family was due back in town within only a few more days. Then there would be an explosion of 'I thought he was with you' and finally the deduction that would have Kyle dying of shame.

Cartman would _never_ let him live it down.

And Kenny would know that he knew and then he would have to actually _talk_ about it and it was a little hard to even consider the fact that one of his closest friends was head-over-heels for him when he was facing the potentiality of spending the rest of his days as a feline.

At least he would be able to count on Stan. After he ripped the boy a new one for not understanding even one of his elaborate messages. He'd even gone so far as to write Stan notes using rocks on his lawn and the stupid boy had kicked them aside without ever looking down.

That or Randy Marsh, the oaf he was, would start going off about aliens and smash someone's car. Kyle really didn't care for Stan's dad.

"What's wrong, Lil Dude?"

Kyle crawled onto Kenny's chest. It was a rare lazy afternoon and the other boy was spending it lying back reading a textbook of all things. Looked like something about linguistics.

He had no idea that Kenny ever studied at all.

He mewed in response to the question, knowing by now that a tirade of his internal workings was pointless.

"Ya know, you kinda remind me of Kyle."

...he could actually scream. Instead his tail thumped Kenny on his dumb face.

"Hey, don't be like that! It's a compliment. You guys pout the same way, ya know? He's normally _super_ vocal, but when he really gets upset he tends to cave in on himself a bit. You're not giving me your normal kitty-lecture so I figure something's got you pouty."

 _That_ was another upsetting aspect of this entire debacle. Finding out that Kenny knew him _exceptionally_ well. He paid attention in ways that Kyle didn't think anyone else ever had. And _yet_ Kyle hadn't known jackshit about the other boy's situation until he'd been randomly transfigured into a goddamn cat.

Still couldn't quite remember how that had happened either, despite repeated attempts.

"I'm sorry, dude, I didn't mean to make you more upset."

 _How the fuck could Kenny be so attentive when he was a fucking cat_?! Kyle might hate Kenny McCormick just a little.

He might also like Kenny McCormick, just a little.

It would be hard not to. While Kyle had been playing kick the baby with his precious baby brother, Kenny had apparently been working part time to support his little sister.

He remembered, guiltily, the number of times he had hung money over Kenny's head to get him to do dares. Because Kenny never turned down a dare with money as an incentive, no matter how dangerous or gross, and it was funny to see Kenny do crazy shit.

It was gut-churning to see so intimately _why_.

A gentle hand caressed him, "I dunno what's got you depressed, Lil Dude, but if there is anything I can do to help, just bite me until I figure it out I guess." he laughed a little and Kyle decided to just settle into the comfort of the moment.

However shit did end up going down, he was going to spoil Kenny McCormick _rotten_ when he got his human-status back.

\--

There were quite a few mornings in the McCormick household that were a touch too chilly. Kyle had long since gotten used to cuddling closer to the residents for warmth in those moments.

That was precisely why that particular morning, he nuzzled against the warmth of Kenny's chest before he even thought to try waking up. Or noticing that anything was strange about the size and spacing of the situation.

"...Kyle?"

Well, that woke him up.

"Holyshit, Kyle, where are your clothes?!"

 _Very_ awake now.

Kyle was already scrambling to steal Kenny's thin blankets for coverage, staring wide eyed at the shocked boy while he tried, _tried_ to find or think of a single word to explain away at least one aspect of this.

Instead, a vestige of the last two months cropped up.

"Meow."

He could cry.

Kenny's eyes widened with realization dawning within him and Kyle was very much tempted to just murder the boy before he could tell anyone.

Luckily, for his continued breathing, Kenny's eyes rolled back into his head and he fainted.

Kyle felt vaguely insulted.

"Oh my god, don't be so dramatic. It's not _that_ shocking!"

He considered running away now that he had the chance, play it off as a dream that Kenny had had and deny _everything_. He knew it would be a hard-sell considering Lil Dude would have disappeared the same time he miraculously re-appeared and Kenny wasn't dumb.

Okay, he was still considering running away. It was very tempting okay. First, before any decision could be made, he had to get clothes.

With a sigh he picked Kenny's signature parka off the ground for some coverage while he searched the closet. Just in case Karen came into the room without knocking, as she was prone to on occasion.

He'd barely found a pair of pants that fit--why the hell was Kenny all skin and bone-- when the sounds of stirring could be heard behind him.

That certainly made his decision for him. Kyle sighed and waited for the inevitable shit-show this was going to be.

"...holyfuck that wasn't a dream."

Damn, Kyle really should have just made a run for it. Pants or no pants. Kenny sounded like he desperately wanted to believe that particular unspoken lie. Jebać it all.

"Are--are you seriously Kyle or wait--am I in hell again and this is one of those weird illusion rooms Satan was having installed?"

That sentence took a lot of unpacking. Kyle decided to pick at it later and turned around to glare, "Gee, glad to know I'm hell to you, asshole."

Okay, so he had some pent-up aggression from the past two months of kittiness. It was only natural.

"No-but--okay--just. Explain. Please?" his voice held a trace of desperation at the end of it and Kyle kind of hated how weak to it he was now. Stupid Kenny.

Still, he didn't want to admit to anything.

"What do you _think_ , genius?"

Kenny wilted back and Kyle finally stopped thumping his metaphorical tail.

Shit. Kenny didn't deserve this. Sure, he never listened to the many, many, ways that Kyle had tried to communicate the situation, but also, who would believe it? And also, Kenny'd been a really legit cat owner.

"Look, I'm sorry--this has just been a _really_ stressful two months. You can imagine why."

 _Oh, skurwysyn pizda chuj._ There weren't words to describe. Kenny's baby blues were widening in a desperation for answers and a hesitance to ask and _kurwa jego mać_ \--FINE.

"Yes. I was the damn cat."

"Oh shit."

Well at least Kenny was now experiencing some of the embarrassment that had Kyle's own face burning.

"How--?"

"If I knew that, I would've turned myself back into a person _ages_ ago."

"Oh."

Shit. Kenny's flushed face was kind of cute.

Shit.

Being a person again came with having person feelings. It was much easier to be ambivalent and distant as a cat. Kyle was sure he'd never be able to blame a cat for giving zero fucks ever again. There was seriously something in their biology that did it.

"Look," Kyle tried, deciding to look anywhere but the boy on the bed, "I didn't mean to--for the record, you're the one that picked me up, okay. I--" crap, he was being an asshole, wasn't he?

"No." Kenny's voice sounded choked, "I get it. Best of a bad situation. I've been there. Uh... not exactly there, but I've seen some shit. South Park, am I right?"

Kyle laughed weakly in return.

Oh kurwa jego mać, this was more awkward that he could have possibly imagined.

Kyle chanced a look back at Kenny and found him looking away as well, eyes trained on a spot outside the window and the light from his unwanted skylight was dancing in his hair and his freckles were just visible in the glow and wow--

This boy was in love with him.

Or at least had said as much to a random cat he'd picked up. Kyle was suddenly a bit nervous about it. Obviously Kenny had no reason to lie to a cat _but still_.

He realized with startling certainty that he _wanted_ Kenny to be in love with him.

His throat was dry, too dry, but he opened it to find words.

Hopefully meaningful words. Maybe if he could move Kenny's gaze from the window he would just _know_ and the tension would ease with the relaxed kindness that made Kenny McCormick who he was.

So, obviously, Karen finally barged in.

"G'morning, Ke--oh, hey Kyle! I didn't know you spent the night. Are you back in town? Oh, have either of you seen Lil Dude?"

" _Kurwa_! Zaje-kurwa-biście pizda sukinsyna!" Kyle cursed, a string of disjointed words, unable to contain himself and Kenny?

Kenny looked at his sister and then back to the awkward absurdity of the entire situation and began to laugh.

It was such a deep and colorful sound. Every sound of puzzlement from his sister was met with larger guffaws and the sound was almost contagious because Kyle wanted dearly to join in. The panic from Karen's question wandering away to be dealt with later.

"D-dude, did you just call my sister a 'bastard cunt'?" Kenny finally managed through giggles.

"You understand Polish?!" Kyle's face burned, it had always been a safety language that no one in South Park understood. How long had Kenny understood? He wracked his brain for times he might have used it in front of the boy.

Kenny giggled again, "Only the bad words, dude. I can curse in like twenty languages. Personal goal, ya know?"

Kyle sighed, "Of-fucking-course you can. I don't know why I'm even surprised."

"Is anyone going to tell me where Lil Dude is?" Karen tried again, spurring on Kenny's giggles all over again.

"Ask Kyle." he gasped, actually rolling on his bed in laughter.

Kyle, still unused to the return of his human body, pounced with claws extended and an intent to gnaw off Kenny's stupid head.

This didn't end well for either boy.

Karen's sigh could be heard as she shut the door as the tangle of boys was still trying to recover from Kyle's ill-conceived plan.

Kenny was still losing his shit in laughter, "Oh my god, you're biting my arm dude."

Kyle spit it out, face a touch past warm and entering the territory of enflamed, "I--"

Kenny held up a hand, "No need to explain, dude, I getit. Two months as a cat. It's cool." a small pause, "It's cool."

Somewhere in that sentence it almost sounded like Kenny said that they were cool as well.

It was a nice out. Kyle could say no more of it and it would be a secret and they could pretend the past two months never happened.

He knew Kenny well enough now to know that he'd stick to it, too. Boy was loyal and stupidly compassionate.

Stupid, stupid, _głupi_ Kenny. Kyle grit his teeth and gripped the waved hand.

Kenny's eyes fixed on his and the mirth started to dissipate in the wake of a concern growing.

"This definitely explains why you refused to eat cat food no matter what though." Kenny tried a vain attempt at humor. Kyle met his eyes with even determination.

"Look, about--that stuff you told me--"

Concern morphed into panic and Kenny was quick to try pulling his hand away, words already formed, "Don--you don't need to say anythin', I totally gettit. It's not, I'm not askin', look I know you don't--"

Kyle's eyes narrowed into a laser sharp glare and he knew he'd managed a good one because Kenny's mouth snapped shut, " _Don't_ put words in my mouth, Kenny."

"Ok." he meeped.

"Look--" this was awkward. The position was awkward. The world was awkward. The words were awkward. Kyle decided it didn't have to be clean though. Awkward was okay, even if it was cringe worthy. "--I can't say I've put as much thought into as you have."

Kenny's eyes moved heavenward, as if begging the sky to strike him down here and now, Kyle squeezed the hand in his iron grip just a touch to bring the eyes back to him.

It was important that he could see Kenny's expression.

Okay, he _wanted_ to see Kenny's expression.

He was also a little terrified of Kenny's expression.

How could he find words to express this? He'd spun so many epic tales in his life, winding words into lessons learned, inspirational speeches, and persuasive presentations. Yet, here and now, with Kenny's eyes locked on his and a lot to lose and so much they should probably talk about and he just wanted to voice one stupid thing that had been bubbling in his chest and demanded an escape from the prison his impulse control kept it in.

How does one express anything?

"I like you."

Oh. That was easy.

Kenny's eyes were a large sea of blue, startled, and almost unseeing.

Kyle repeated himself.

"I really like you."

His mouth formed the smallest of _oh_ 's and a light behind his eyes shone like a star of hope. The light touched his cheeks and graced it with a growing color expanding across his freckles.

Now that the words were out, he couldn't stop.

It was never in his nature to imprison speech.

"I like you a lot."

Barely, at the corners of Kenny's eyes, what could be tears began to build and at least one fell down an unsuspecting and pink cheek.

"You're the most impressive person I've ever met, you're strong, kind, and stupidly precious."

Kenny still didn't look like he believed his ears, so Kyle closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around the other boy and pulled him close in a hug. Chin resting on his shoulder.

Damn. He couldn't see his face anymore. That might be for the best though, his own was somewhere in the shades of maroon by the feel of it.

"You're fun to be around and interesting conversation--oddly, even when it's one-sided-- and I like being with you. I like being around you."

There was a choked sound.

Kyle worried for just a moment if maybe he'd said too much and ruined it all. Maybe Kenny liked him _before_ the whole cat-thing but not so much now. Maybe Kenny hadn't been all that serious about the random information he'd confided in a cat. Maybe--a lot of things. Kyle squeezed Kenny, hoping to somehow hold onto solidity.

"Wow," Kenny's voice was strained, "Stockholm syndrome, am I right?" he laughed, so weak and forced.

"If I still had a tail, I'd thwack you with it, ty chujowa spierdolino."

"Yeah, probably bite me too." Kenny's chuckle was a little more real, less painful to hear.

There was a longer pause than Kyle would have liked. Things like cars outside and the sounds of breakfast in the McCormick household filling his ears, along with Kenny's less than even breaths and what was the sound of his own heart making things quite difficult to concentrate.

Kenny's hands rose, barely brushing Kyle's sides, "...are you sure?"

"Duh." Kyle rolled his eyes, "When have I ever been indecisive?"

The hands wrapped around and squeezed, Kyle smiled.

"A lot of times actually. You think a lot. Some might say too much. That Broflovski boy, they say, boy does he think a lot."

"Well, you ought to know that _when_ I stop being indecisive, I'm quite clear about what I want."

The grip was shaky but the hug was growing less hesitant and Kenny was burying his face into his own parka on Kyle's shoulders.

"Yeah, you are."

Kyle, a bit more confident, allowed a cat-like smirk, "And I want you."

Kenny _squeaked_ and it was the best sound Kyle had heard in his entire fucking life.

He was going to make sure he heard that sound a lot from now on.

 


End file.
